I was asked last night why I came to the United States. I paused and said it’s because there is no place for someone like me in China.

Thousands years of Confucius value burnt into people’s psyche of what women should be in China. I don’t fit those expectations. And was told that I am worthless again, again, again and again.

Here are some words from Chinese classics - words about how women should behave create a thousand cuts and leaving us with scratches and scars.

唯女子与小人为难养也，近之则不孙，远之则怨 (Women and narrow-minded people are especially hard to deal with).

女子之嫁也，母命之，往送之门，戒之曰：‘往之女家，必敬必戒，无违夫子！‘以顺为正者，妾妇之道也 (Do not disobey your husband. Women should be obedient.)

女子许嫁，笄而字 (Put the women’s hair up when they are ready to be married.)

女子出门，必拥蔽其面，夜行以烛，无烛则止 (When women go out they must cover their faces and don’t go where it’s dark.)

男子居外，女子居内，深宫固门，阍寺守之 (Women should handle things inside the family.)

女子而男子饰者，裂其衣，断其带 (If women are dressed as men, rip off their clothes.)

女子废其纺织而修文采，故民寒 (Women stopped weaving and focused on poetry, that’s why the people are cold.)

女子无才便是德 (It’s virtuous for women to have no talent.)

相夫教子 (Serve your husband and educate your son.)

贤妻良母 (Good wife and nice mom.)

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